can i help?

Your own Bird was struggling the other night to find the switch to turn off the gaming machine. The last straggling regular comes across ....... 'Don't worry love, I'll turn it off for ya.".... and headbutts the screen into oblivion. Didn't even turn it off either.

how far?

One of the old boy regulars frequently starts conversations about immigrants. I do my best to politely disagree, pointing out that he has spent most of his working life exploiting the financial benefits of working abroad and recouping appropriate tax benefits under a system of world financial imbalance created by violent racist colonialism, and to denigrate others for attempting to begin to redress the balance from their point of non-violent, non-colonial disadvantage is a little hypocritical.
At what point would it be reasonable for me to inform him that his ignorant racism, selfishness and general offensiveness is akin to fascism and banish him to a thirld-world war-zone in order to investigate why he needs to take his head out of his arse?
Answers on a postcard ..............

Overture

The Pub: A window on life.... slightly smeared, with well-worn grubby edges................
Me: A minimum-wage muppet with dreams of creative fulfillment desperately hunting for some sense from the wrong side of the bar .................or maybe an opportunity to off-load without ranting at my long-suffering girlfriend ..........

overheard 1

so what's ikea stand for then?

well, its his name, innit?

but whass the i for?

ikea

and the k?

thas is name innit, ikea, like dyson

nah, thats dice innit. them little fings wiv dots on