Shop Local

This Bird is possibly in need of a blue rinse and twin-set, but I have been fondly musing on the subject of the local shop. Hardly a hot political issue, one may say, but the more this Bird contemplates the idea, the more it seems to represent so much that is being lost in the daze of capitalist consumerism and the breakdown of community. Far from being the idyllic village shop, our local is for cheap Stella, cigs, pot noodles and chocolate. It has, however, a magical back shelf. The shelf is tiny, yet somehow whatever obscure item may be needed in a hurry it's lurking there. This is not the most magical part of the shop, though. The couple who run it scrape a modest living, working long hours. They know all the regular customers by name. They know which customers are on the scrounge and which ones are genuinely single mothers that will pay for the pint of milk tomorrow but have to feed their kids today. When a lonely neighbour lost her much-loved dog, they asked after her every time they saw her and made a point of chatting to her whenever she came in to make sure she was ok. When the local teenagers come in they don't need to check for ID because they've known them all for years. To sum it all up, they know the local community, and they care. Stick that in your bag for life, Tesco.

Happy Valentine's Day

With the commercial con of Valentine's Day over, this Bird's heart can now turn without cynicism to thoughts of true love. I want to share the story of a friend of mine, a big-hearted and loving woman who deserves the best from life. Philippa has wife in the States, who's daughter from a previous marriage knows her as 'Mum', but under US federal law, unlike a heterosexual couple, her wife is not permitted to sponsor her to move to America. They are both fighting tooth and nail to change this heart-breaking and discriminatory law, with endless brave interviews, campaigns and lobbying.

The link below will tell you more than I can of this perplexing legal situation, but the story I want to tell is the one I have seen with my own eyes. This Bird has the esteemed honour of playing in a band with Philippa. She is passionate, talented and full of life. She lives much of this life, however, via webcams, mobile phones and 'facebook'. Her relationship with her wife, Inger, is so real and present I already consider Inger a friend, although I have never met her. Philippa regularly rings her during band practices, and we will play a new tune to the phone to see what Inger thinks of it. We have group phone conversations full of laughter. She also chats regularly with her daughter, helping with homework on the web cams, and even checking that she's tidied her bedroom.

I also see Philippa on the bad days: the days when all she wants in the world is to hold her wife in her arms because she has had a bad day; the times when her daughter has her first day at a new school and she cannot be there to see her at the school gate; the times when she comes to band practice bleary-eyed because the time differences mean that if she want to talk with her wife after a full day's work she has to wait up until 4 a.m.; the times when, despite the soul-deep love she has for her family, she wonders where she can find the strength to carry on. She does carry on, and I have the utmost admiration for Philippa and her wife for their courage and commitment. Even when the fight for legal change is won, Philippa will face a move 5000 miles to another continent, away from family, friends and the life she has known, to be with her family. This alone would be an act of tremendous courage for anyone, but for Philippa this would be the happy ending to the story, a sobering thought.

This Bird cannot help but wonder that, if the US government is so afraid that family values are becoming a thing of the past, surely anyone willing to make such a determined effort to keep a family together should be heralded, not discriminated against. After all, what couple could show more commitment to love and family?

Click on the title of this blog, watch the short film, and I challenge you not to shed a tear.

Happy Valentine's Day x x x x x x

http://www.shewired.com/Article.cfm?ID=25890

Love and Hope

Mubarek has gone, and Egypt is cheering. It gives this Bird an overwhelming sense of faith and hope in humanity. The American government has been fearful of change, of chaos and disaster. The Egyptian people have shown that they are far more successful in their bravery and tenacity at removing dictators and creating democracy than they could ever be. Compare this heroicly peaceful revolution with the American government's attempts to overthrow oppressive regimes: Iraq, Afghanistan, .........................
Whilst only a privileged few ever know what machinations go on in the clouded turrets of power, this Bird had the privilege of speaking several times in the last couple of weeks to relatives in Cairo, some of the few civilian Westerners who chose to stay. They have told me about the incredible spirit and generosity of their Egyptian neighbours: the so-called 'vigilante' groups running neighbourhood barricades, peacefully and bravely protecting their families and friends from secret police and looters; the local people who inundated them with loaves of bread when they happened to mention they were running low; the open arms which they, as white Westerners, have been welcomed by the community when they chose to stay. This is in such stark contrast to the paranoia of some powerful Westerners unable to support the revolution because of fear that Egypt may become an anti-Western state. This is lesson for all of us in love and courage. Maybe if Egypt decided that it didn't want to be governed by a Western-style state prioritising power and might, they may be able to to show the West a thing or two. I wish them all power in their attempt to create a true democracy.

Keep Talking

Further recent conversations with friends have reminded me of many conversations over my life: a friend at 16 telling me of being raped by her father; a friend telling me of rape by a lover, too young to fight back or argue; a friend telling me of a night spent in a cell, arrested for assault because she dared to fight back against a man trying to rape her in her own home; a friend that cried while telling me of a year of repeated rape by a partner that left her unable to take another lover for many years. These are just a few of the stories this Bird has listened to.
'The government estimates that as many as 95% of rapes are never reported to the police at all. Of the rapes that were reported from 2007 to 2008, only 6.5% resulted in a conviction, compared with 34% of criminal cases in general.' (taken from http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2009/mar/13/rape-convictions-low)
Say the word 'rape' in any group of women, and a chaos of stories and emotions result. Not one of the stories this Bird has heard resulted in report, let alone conviction. These women do not tell their stories except to trusted friends and the occasional sympathetic stranger. They feel shame, that they did not fight back, or that they did something to deserve this; they feel guilt, at being victims when their feminist principles tell them they should be strong; they feel fear, of the people that do this, that may do this again, but maybe more they feel fear that they may have to re-live and repeat the event in their minds again and again if they do not struggle to suppress the memory.
Imagine we were talking about burglary. Imagine that 95% of burglary victims felt too dirty, scared and ashamed to report the crime. Imagine if victims of burglary were told that if they were going to flash their new car around they deserved to have it stolen. Imagine..................... stinks, doesn't it?