The quiet afternoon shift...

I had always suspected it, often had individual examples, and was even lucky enough to observe the occasional group specimen, but really, after only a few shifts as bird behind the bar, this bird has now gained conclusive proof. Not only do men never grow up, (that would be the least of it) but they are stuck in a timewarp of their own unending blend of self righteous megalomania and an obsession with UFO's (Unruly Female Orifices).

Fat ol' boy: “Now when you go home tonight, you gonna give your boyfriend a good ham sand-witch then?”, to which I told him with word and with eye to never address me with such vileness again.

The funny thing was, when I moved away, I am sure his cronies huddled around him and explained to him that I'm “one o' them”....... which particular “one o' them” he was refering to I'm not so sure, as they seem to have plenty to choose from...

I've felt on the edge of a rant for the last half of my shift (just the edge? Admire the restraint and worship at my temple of forbearance, oh feeble mortals). For the first half of the shift I was the only one in the pub, and sat with me guitar for some of the time. In fact....if there's cameras in the office (which I'm sure there is ) then the landlord will have espied me on occasion entering the office and doing a few shaky handed, kicks and spiky bends to shake off the bad small minded turgid cesspool mingingness that was massing on t'other side of the bar. One of them soon started on ““the mooslims” all of em..this 'ere now is a mooslim country..they got it all now....and they dont like the smell of what I cook...etc etc etc blah blah blah..”

I dont think I will stay very long at this job...i did not voice my opinion there and then, life sometimes seems a little short to challenge every small minded tosser, otherwise I wouldn't even make it as far as the bathroom. But if I had let it out I don't think I would have stopped ........ for a very long time. Probably for as long a time as the U.K. has been inflicting uncontrolled damage, pillaging all and sundry and setting peaceful people against each other , as long as men have used their inability to control their putrid desires as an excuse for pitiable immature behaviour, as long as the sky has faced the firmament, as long as.......................

racist mysogynistic cloaca's (look it up in a dictionary) inhabit this blue and peaceful planet with …....,... all of them.

A Serious Angry Rant

Serving beer is the easy bit.

Apart from the interminable removal of all traces of urine, vomit, stale beer and random detritus from the premises, dealing with drunken cloacas is the main chore of working behind a bar. As well as the slimey chat-up lines and inappropriate sexual innuendo that has to be endured on an hourly basis by any bar staff in possesion of a pair of breasts, and the aggressive drunks intent on destruction of themselves, someone else or both, there is occasionaly a customer harbouring more sinister intentions. A male who is both disrespectful of women and violent. A male who uses staggeringly abusive language and threatens bar staff. A male who rams his way out of a car park roaring drunk in his BMW despite the sober pleas of his friends. A male with a history of serious violence against women.

This kind of behaviour is unfortunately an occupational hazard for any bird behind a bar, and something that I did expect to encounter, given that I was working in an environment almost by definition dominated by drunk men, (not, I hasten to add, that this Bird has not encountered other birds being a right royal drunken pain in the arse, they just don't have behind them the full force of patriarchal self-righteousness and legal precedent, frequently combined with greater physical strength).

What this Bird was not expecting was the complacency of her employers and co-workers. Not forgetting for a moment the sole other female employee who continued to serve the above mentioned gentleman, despite his heinous behaviour, in a heart-warming display of female solidarity, other staff delivered such iniquitous comments as, "I don't want you to think I'm taking sides, and if you don't want to serve him, that's ok, but we'll continue to serve him until we see him misbehave ourselves." Marvellous, now the guy will feel justified in thinking the entire episode is a personal issue and that his behaviour is perfectly acceptable, and it's just that some up-tight bitch has a problem with him. Another: "Maybe we should put a sign up. I want to say a fair usage policy but that's not quite what I mean." Is it not? What sign? "No misogynistic assholes allowed in here, though if you come in we won't actually bar you"?

This Bird is angry; angry that due to not being taken seriously by staff and employers she now feels unsafe walking home; angry at the complacency that all women who are victims of male violence are forced to endure. This Bird will endure it no longer. Watch this space.......................