Brokebackwards Thinking

Returning once again to comfortable mornings of coffee and Radio 4 with the papers, I am happy to be listening again to a much wider range of political views than those I heard in The Pub. Although I find these new inputs much less disturbing sources of opinion in general, they are of course not without their biases and flaws. I have heard several and repeated references to the phrase "Brokeback coalition", as used by David Davis. Though the phrase was coined back in July, it is still being used by newspapers and journalists across the board, though of course always in quotation marks: everyone knows that means it doesn't count. This comment sounds to me like a thinly intellectually veiled version of schoolkid taunts such as, "You're gay, you are.", or describing male friends as "Bum Chums". Whilst I am not surprised that members of our esteemed democratic House are capable of using such base sexual insults, I am surprised that as yet I have heard not shock, dismay or even a hint of reticence over the use of this phrase. The implication of this comment is firstly that men who work together closely must be gay, and secondly, and most importantly, it implies that this would be a bad thing. Am I the only person who finds these repeated assertions of homophobic views insinuating themselves into allegedly intelligent media sources extremely disturbing?

Bird of Leisure

After an entertaining holiday, I have now returned to the first day of life as a full-time musician (model, actress, whatever ...... ), so I now have oodles of time to devote to you, my readers, and solitary, but very much appreciated, current follower. Cursed with the contradiction of so many of the creative bent, I find that now I have time on my hands to fulfill all the wild ambitions I nurtured in dull hours behind the bar, I can't quite retain the fervour and focus on these ambitions. I have spent my first full day of freedom prevaricating, procrastinating and drinking ridiculous amounts of tea. I have thoroughly absorbed several hours of Radio 4 whilst smoking profuse numbers of roll-ups, then washed all the dishes in a brief moment of guilt. I then did some baking. Please help.

Dyke & Pen

This Bird looks forward to the opening one day of the Dyke & Pen - a country pub with a city attitude.

The Horrors of Alcohol

This Bird always knew it was wrong just on pure taste; how can anything that revolting be innocent? Now there is proof ........................ follow the link from this post or go to
http://www.rcgfrfi.easynet.co.uk/ratb/boycott/

Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow

I apologise, but there are no wise cracks or funny stories today. Your own dear Bird is feeling a little sad today. Management discussions ended in a regretfully tendered resignation. I am going to miss the new friends made at the Pub, and the entertainment inadvertently and intentionally provided. I'm also feeling disappointed that it had to come to this. A battle could be fought to make a point, but would the point be made? At present, I am trying to see the situation as one where I have made a stand and refused to tolerate unacceptable behaviour, and hopefully may serve as an example to others. I am not sure a battle would acheive enlightenment on any side, although if the job had been one I was more passionate about maybe I would have fought a little harder? My high point was explaining to a 9 year old girl why I had left. If she grows up knowing that she can always walk away from hatred and aggressive behaviour, then the whole episode will be worthwhile.

A Serious Angry Rant

Serving beer is the easy bit.

Apart from the interminable removal of all traces of urine, vomit, stale beer and random detritus from the premises, dealing with drunken cloacas is the main chore of working behind a bar. As well as the slimey chat-up lines and inappropriate sexual innuendo that has to be endured on an hourly basis by any bar staff in possesion of a pair of breasts, and the aggressive drunks intent on destruction of themselves, someone else or both, there is occasionaly a customer harbouring more sinister intentions. A male who is both disrespectful of women and violent. A male who uses staggeringly abusive language and threatens bar staff. A male who rams his way out of a car park roaring drunk in his BMW despite the sober pleas of his friends. A male with a history of serious violence against women.

This kind of behaviour is unfortunately an occupational hazard for any bird behind a bar, and something that I did expect to encounter, given that I was working in an environment almost by definition dominated by drunk men, (not, I hasten to add, that this Bird has not encountered other birds being a right royal drunken pain in the arse, they just don't have behind them the full force of patriarchal self-righteousness and legal precedent, frequently combined with greater physical strength).

What this Bird was not expecting was the complacency of her employers and co-workers. Not forgetting for a moment the sole other female employee who continued to serve the above mentioned gentleman, despite his heinous behaviour, in a heart-warming display of female solidarity, other staff delivered such iniquitous comments as, "I don't want you to think I'm taking sides, and if you don't want to serve him, that's ok, but we'll continue to serve him until we see him misbehave ourselves." Marvellous, now the guy will feel justified in thinking the entire episode is a personal issue and that his behaviour is perfectly acceptable, and it's just that some up-tight bitch has a problem with him. Another: "Maybe we should put a sign up. I want to say a fair usage policy but that's not quite what I mean." Is it not? What sign? "No misogynistic assholes allowed in here, though if you come in we won't actually bar you"?

This Bird is angry; angry that due to not being taken seriously by staff and employers she now feels unsafe walking home; angry at the complacency that all women who are victims of male violence are forced to endure. This Bird will endure it no longer. Watch this space.......................

Answers On A Postcard 2

Not that your Bird would ever speculate idly on customers private life, but when a middle-aged woman checks in for a week at the B&B, fully paid up, and leaves after an hour with no complaint saying she was more than happy with the room .............. what do you reckon dear readers? I'm sure you can come up with some much more interesting theories than me................................................ No, really, go on, answers in the comment box, it'll be fun, promise.

An offer that can't be refused

Unfortunately there are many gentleman out there that still can't quite tell the difference between a barmaid and an 0898 service, but here is a particularly choice chat up line from a self-proclaimed farmer boy in his sixties, complete with last night's vomit stains congealing on his nylon jumper........
"You're bloody gorgeous you are, proper bit of stuff. You wanna come for a drink with me? I've got a tractor. I have. A big green one!"
Flattered? I nearly turned!